jesse_the_k: mirror reflection of 1/3 of my head, creating a central third eye, a heart shaped face, and a super-pucker mouth (Default)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
Mia Mingus has written another short, powerful essay on interacting with nondisabled people. She examines how we are forced into intimate interactions because we are disabled.

begin quote
Forced intimacy is a cornerstone of how ableism functions in an able bodied supremacist world. Disabled people are expected to “strip down” and “show all our cards” metaphorically in order to get the basic access we need in order to survive. We are the ones who must be vulnerable—whether we want to or not—about ourselves, our bodyminds and our abilities. Forced intimacy was one of the many ways I learned that consent does not exist for my disabled asian girl bodymind. People are allowed to ask me intrusive questions about my body, make me “prove” my disability or expect me to share with them every aspect of my accessibility needs. I learned how to simultaneously shrink myself and nonconsensually open myself up as a disabled girl of color every damn day.
quote ends


https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2017/08/06/forced-intimacy-an-ableist-norm

I've experienced this so many times! The total stranger who sizes me up—on the bus, on the street, in the pool: "What's wrong with you, anyway?" (It's almost worse when they begin with, "May I ask you a personal question—what's wrong with you?" Notice the lack of a pause for a reply, as well as the assumption that asking permission makes it ok.)


It's challenging to maintain my self-confidence while experiencing the assumption that my boundaries don't exist, or don't count. Self-compassion meditation helps some. Snarkiness helps some.
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jesse_the_k: mirror reflection of 1/3 of my head, creating a central third eye, a heart shaped face, and a super-pucker mouth (Default)
Jesse the K

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