pondering life, death, and grief

[jesse_the_k]

...seems to be on the agenda. (We're fine, Bella's getting better.) MyGuy and I are finishing up our will, designating personal representatives who get delegated to herd our health and wealth In The Event.

From BlairBraverman's regular column in Outside magazine, pondering the grief we feel after losing a dog, and how we can imagine the next dog.

What to Do When You Lose a Dog

Dogs’ lives are short to us, but not to them. To them, their lives are the length of lives.

The burden of this, the hardship, falls on us—we outlive our best friends. But it also allows us to give them a gift. A dog can pass through puppyhood, adulthood, and old age in the company of caring humans. They can live their whole lives on earth in a cocoon of love.

Dogs exist in each moment. They are shallow in the best of ways: their life consists of the things they’re experiencing now. They want to be loved, they want attention and snacks and walks, they want gentle hands on their fur while they drift to sleep. The best thing we can do for dogs is to make their moments good. If their moments are good, then their lives are good, too.

And when we lose them?

They give us one last gift, which is that we can grieve like dogs. Moment by moment. Not by living in the past or the future, but by taking the sorrow as it comes.

Comments

[cynthia1960]

Works for cats too.

[jesse_the_k]

Indeed! In fact, I want to write this down for future reference for people as well.

[sasha_feather]

Thank you for this, and for listening to me today!

[jesse_the_k]

Of course, dear one.

[delight]

I threatened to throw something at Blair for this when I read it; she has not apologized for my tears and she only has five days left!!!

Um, it's really good advice though. It is as applicable to my father as my late pets.

[jesse_the_k]

I'm delighted that Blair is in my world, sharing her insights!

Hoping your next week is surrounded by altogether too many happy ugly dogs.

[anais_pf]

That is quite lovely!

[jesse_the_k]

So glad it struck a chord.

[mdlbear]

The cat in the icon, Curio, taught me how to cry.

[jesse_the_k]

<3 That's a gift!

[yourlibrarian]

A dog can pass through puppyhood, adulthood, and old age in the company of caring humans. They can live their whole lives on earth in a cocoon of love.

That's a lovely thought.

[jesse_the_k]

Inspired by this essay, I'm thinking of how I can envelop my friends in a similar cocoon.

[applenym]

Thank you for sharing this essay. It is very much what I needed to hear.

[jesse_the_k]

I'm glad it helped a little in a hard time.