Miscellaneous Miscellany for $500, Alex

[jesse_the_k]

A Life Beyond Reason is an essay by Chris Gabbard , excerpted from Papa, PhD: Essays on Fatherhood by Men in the Academy.
Fathers of disabled children could be more prone to examine their role. Since parenting kids with disabilities often requires more time and effort, thereby forcing a relationship that fathers of typical children might still conceive as optional.

begin quote My son, August, has a number of quirks that distinguish him from the typically developing 10-year-old. He lives with cerebral palsy, is a spastic quadriplegic, has cortical visual impairment (meaning he is legally blind), is completely nonverbal and cognitively disabled, has a microcephalic head, and must wear a diaper. Moreover, he is immobile—he can't crawl or scoot around or hold himself up or even sit in a chair without being strapped in it. If someone were to put him on the floor and leave him there, he would be in the same location hours later, give or take a foot.
[... snip ...]
While August has limited what I can accomplish in my academic career, he also has broadened my teaching and scholarship. In order to explain how he has done so, I have to go back to my grade-school years, in Palo Alto, Calif. For the most part, I was a good student and a nice boy—nice, that is, except when I was bullying Peter, the lone kid in the class who had learning disabilities. Perceiving him to be the bearer of stigma, my fellows and I trailed after Peter, calling him idiot, moron, imbecile, stupid, and cretin. Our Lord of the Flies vitriol at least respected the boundary of not physically harming him, though our psychological abuse must have damaged him. quote ends

I'm grateful for ally voices, especially those willing to examine our bullying history. It's not going to stop unless we're willing to acknowledge what happened.

The night my liver started running my life somehow delivers belly laughs, intriguing mystery, and eyes-squeezed-shut squickworthiness. See, here:

begin quote In the second week my liver began barking at smells and substances I’d barely noticed before. I considered myself an earthy minimalist, but my house turned out to be a chemical minefield. I developed a doglike olfactory sense that guided me as I sniffed, recoiled and pointed out to Adam what had to go. He tossed out most of our bathroom and kitchen products, along with everything preserved or petroleum-based. (Even now, I continue to detect obscure odors, including what people eat and when they’ve had sex.) quote ends

That's Californian science writer Genevive Bjorn, who blogs at The Daily Smell. My hypersensitivity to smells came after I regained my "normal" senses upon quitting a twenty-two year cigarette-smoking habit. Pinpointing the origin of Ms Bjorn's exquisite sense of smell, on the other hand is not so easy.
The air can fail us along several dimensions. In addition to being stinky, it can have lumpy bits—such as dust and particles––or toxic bits—such as poisons or radioactivity. In addition to a super-sensitive sniffer, I have reactive airways. Any bits make me cough and prevent me from breathing. Unfortunately, we're having an ORANGE particle alert tomorrow in my part of the world. I'm glad I can stay home. As is probably the case all around the U.S., and certainly in Mexico, the worst air conditions are experienced by workers waiting outside for public transportation.


I adore etiquette books -- there are rules! one can learn them! it isn't a complete mystery with my parents ready to score me as low as possible! Thanks to zizi_west for pointing me to The New Basic Black. Authors Karen Grigsby Bates and Karen E Hudson introduced me to the vitally useful notion from the African American community of "proper home training." Of course there's a certain amount of overlap in all etiquette books, but this one offers invaluable phrasing when one needs to telling someone, in the most polite way possible, to quit pissing on my head while telling me its raining. When I need some help I'll be sure and ask for it. Until then, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't follow me around your store. I have no intention of not paying for whatever I choose.Their "useful phrases" guidance for brief notes on formal occasions hit just the right tone between warmth and dignity. The advice for funerals, baptisms, first communions was an exceptional useful summary for this Jewish reader. I bet there's a Wiki-Etiquette somewhere, and I hope the [talk] page battles are very, very polite.

I'm so glad DreamWidth introduced me to marina (although in fact I was simply missing her on LJer as sabrina_il ). This awesome picture post is typical: fun pictures, cross-cultural commentary, lesbian and military cultural norms, SF & fandom. Always a tasty tangent from my interests.(On her outfit outside an SF con in Tel Aviv, Israel. is a Russian emigre who speaks more languages than I can remember):

begin quote So, the thing is, I actually did wear a ~costume~ this year. It wasn't actually a costume, it was this naval officer hat I picked up in Odessa (that says Odessa in Russian). It was a charming piece of touristy kitsch (I am helpless in the face of such things) and I figured I could always find a use for it on Purim. Except, you know what's like Purim only more awesome? ICON! So I figured, it's not like anyone will care or notice if I wear it there, so I might as well. PEOPLE NOTICED, OK? They noticed a little too much! I got to the con by train, and put the hat on as soon as I was out of the train station and headed for the heart of Tel Aviv. From the first intersection where I waited to cross the road, people started commenting on the hat. VERY, VERY POSITIVELY. People, I do not remember getting this much attention back when I wore cleavage lower than my bra. quote ends