I fell in love ...

with the writing of a creative whirlwind named j_s_cavalcante and I've just spent a happy morning reading every work of her due South F/K oeuvre.

Befitting a crush, I also got up-to-date on her entire LJ, and so stumbled on this ancient meme, which was news to—and entirely appropriate for—me:

A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
Look up:
Definition:	A surge of panic, esp. as experienced when the negatives of procrastination are realized.

Apposite because, even though I've written volumes in the past, in the last few years writing anything has turned into an all-anxious, all-nightmare struggle. I'm kinda hoping that writing within the highly stylized realm of fanfic might be a morale-builder, but I have to fret about it for a couple months first.