Inside the Little Plastic Castle

Patrice Jetter is a force of nature. She’s joyous in her clothes and her hobbies (sewing, painting, model railroading) and her confidence in small acts of kindness. She found love with Garry Wickham and they want to marry. They can’t afford to because they’re both disabled. Marriage would end their access to US Federal health insurance and income support.

( Why I loved it and trailer )

In Uncanny Magazine, Sid Jain explores how Seth Dickinson's Baru Cormorant Masquerade trilogy helped him understand how British imperial rule colonized his thinking and experience as a first-generation American:

Shame washes over a colonized culture in layers: first the shame Indian students were made to feel towards their vernacular in the 19th century, then the shame for their poor English. Finally, the shame we force upon ourselves after becoming too Anglicized. Like with the worst of all colonial exercises: it’s not what it does to you that you should fear, but what it convinces you to do to yourself.

[… snip …]

Shame is unhelpful. Learning is helpful. What I do with the education and the voice it gave me matters. This is part of what I find ironic about the genesis of this essay. Dickinson, while not writing from a colonized perspective, still told this powerful story from an accurate anti-colonial perspective, managing to get the conflicted feelings of a post-colonial youth so right. I imagine it took a lot of learning, curiosity, and humility.

https://uncannymagazine.com/article/seduced-by-the-rulers-gaze-an-indian-perspective-on-seth-dickinsons-masquerade/

Sounds True was founded in 1985 to "wake up the world by distributing spiritual wisdom." It now publishes "wellness" audio, particularly meditation and therapy tools.

They're currently hosting a Trauma Skills Summit. Each day they feature professionally-captioned video talks from two or three speakers, with backgrounds in trauma healing, mindfulness, and chronic conditions. Until 31 August, the content is free. The teachers are counselors, yogini, doctors, dancers, spiritual guides and healers from a variety of backgrounds -- check out the list of Trauma Summit Teachers. Use that link to register with an email address for free access until the end of August.

The Trauma Skills Summit started on the 17th, so here's what's already available

If you want to get downloads (or extend access after the end of the month), you can pay them $147.

ETA: video only, no books/transcripts

I’ve been tasked with making some stitch markers, and I’m a knitting idiot.

7mm, 9mm, or larger rings? Closed loops? Hook like an earring but tighter? Small round clasp?

How simple should dangles be so they don’t catch in the work?

Can you point me to the ones you love? Warn me of the mistakes not to make?

Apologies if you've been looking at my journal this afternoon.

I have been cluelessly dinking around with the styles, attempting to make it look the way I want.

I have no wizzywig editor, and NO IDEA what I'm doing.

If any reader cared to hold my hand on this, I would be exceptionally grateful.

/diving back down the rabbit hole.

The forecast was "1 − 3 inches" but the reality seemed more like 4.5. At any rate, I dragged my butt, late, spinning and swerving, to the bus stop. After ten minutes I called to see what was up. Nothing firm was promised, so I backtracked two blocks to another line. The bus arrived and was dropping the ramp when I realized I was stuck. I wasn't going to be able to move out of the ramp's way.

Then something so pleasant and organized and positive happened!

I waved the driver on; one of the descending passengers asked if she could help. Oh yes she could indeed. I gave her the "bullet" for ( helping-on-snow ) and she followed every instruction. After the first try, a guy stopped by and started grabbing for the handle and telling me what was wrong with my wheels. I let him know, calmly, "I've been driving this thing for twenty years so I'm pretty familiar with this situation." He did the universal sign of "no harm, no foul" (backing up and rotating his upper arms so his hands were head-high, palm out) and wandered away.

So Stephanie (we traded names later) gave me just the right traction and I was free of the now-icy bus stop.
"How will you get home?" she asked.
I said, not really knowing, "Oh, I'll figure it out somehow."
She replied, "I live just here (pointing nearby), can I accompany you home?"
I got a clue and realized that a) she was exhibiting all the signs of a sensible person and b) if I got stuck away from the main street I'd be really stuck.
So we s/trolled down to where I could see my tracks, and waved goodbye.

So that was truly good news.

Why can't I swim to the pool?

Because I'm a worrier, the last few months have been hard for me personally. My family's bequest has meant I'm somewhat directly insulated from the impact of Wisconsin's conservative revolution, but many of my friends and colleagues aren't that lucky.

People with disabilities interact more with government. We are more likely to be poor, and therefore more likely to need the welfare system (living expenses, housing, food discounts, medical care).
Only comprehensive, government-wide action can undo the decades of systematic oppression documented in the prelude to the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The Disability Advocates Wisconsin Network provides a detailed yet understandable accounting of how people with disabilities are going to be affected in so many ways by the budget just passed.

I bring up this list because it neatly reminds us all that "disability issues," like "women's issues," are pretty darn broad.

Are you wondering "Who's ALEC?" The American Legislative Exchange Council was founded in 1973 by Henry Hyde, Lou Barnett, and Paul Weyrich. In brief, they're a group of policy wonks who develop model laws based on the values they hold dear: absolute free market capitalism, elimination of governmental regulation, deployment of public-private partnerships wherever possible. Wm Cronon, a UW-Madison history professor explores in greater detail on his web site.

I bring up ALEC because the misery we're experiencing may be coming to a state like you -- and it may be letter-for-letter what we've been protesting against. Informed is always a good look on a radical.

I seem to be ready to rant about dependency, interdependency, learning to ask for and politely reject help.

This started with last week's dw_news, reminding, nay urging for us DreamWideLoaders to ASK FOR HELP. Take it away denise :

 begin quote 
So, the support team project leads would like us to remind you that if you ever need anything, you can ask them. [... snip ...] The Support area can be used for tons of purposes, including:

• When you think something might be broken
• When you aren't sure whether something's broken or it's supposed to work that way
• When you can't find something and it's not in the FAQs (and they will also take care of letting the documentation team know to update the FAQs!)
• When you're looking straight at something you think is probably awesome, but you have no earthly clue how to make it work.
• If there's anything in general that you have questions about, or want to know more about.

Please don't ever feel embarrassed about asking, and don't feel like you're bothering them! We see a lot of people posting entries to their journals saying stuff like "I didn't want to bother Support, but does anybody know...", and that's totally not something you have to worry about. The Support team likes being helpful. Really. They've got this thing. Plus, if you're confused about something, you are likely not the only one, and if you mention it, we get to improve things for everyone -- reporting issues is a great and easy way to participate in the process of making Dreamwidth better for everybody.
 quote ends 

I know I have hesitated to ask for help many times. If I can't find it in the FAQ, the Mean Little Voice in My Head says, "That's just cause you're not phrasing the question correctly." Clearly I'm not alone: as she emphasizes, people who volunteer to support do it because they want to help!

Unfortunately, my upbringing and micro-culture values independence above effectiveness. Her post provided me with a chance to ponder the hierarchy and costs of neediness. My standpoint is a part-time wheelchair user, who can't reach above her head, has cognitive problems which surprise folks who are only familiar with some of my linguistic skills, and constant anxiety issues.

In the supermarket, I have no trouble asking a stranger to reach a package above my head. When I need help, I never hesitate to ask someone to open a door. But when there's a door opener, I'm irritated by a stranger holding the door open (especially when they're on my side, and I have to avoid their feet): when I can control my environment, please let me proceed at my own speed. On the other hand, I know where all the door openers are, because I'm always scanning my environment for the wheelie blue; non-disabled people mostly won't have noticed them.

Last week I was shopping with sasha_feather, walking with two canes to get a little exercise. Then I collapsed on the floor in the store for no particular reason. I didn't think twice to direct sasha to fetch a store wheelchair to cart me about, but I didn't ask her to move me the small increments so I could browse down an aisle. (I use a powerchair because my arms aren't strong enough for a manual chair). Once we were through check-out, I was weighing whether I could walk through the exit to her car. I am so thankful that Sasha saw me over-thinking, and let me know she had no problem pushing me to the car and then returning the chair on her own.

That's my constant balancing game: which is more work for my companions? watching me worry about whether to ask for help? or providing the help without having to witness my internal debate?

MyGuy and other intimates have periodically reminded me that being able to help me out is something they appreciate. Many times they've wanted an opportunity to "do something" after witnessing my pain and frustration. Some religious traditions celebrate this relationship as a gift disabled people provide to the non-disabled, but I'm uncomfortable with being an occasion for others good works. That perspective has supported many interactions where non-disabled people's need to help me takes precedence over my desire for autonomy. That tension sometimes leads to bratty behavior on my part: when people hold open doors unasked, I may turn around and take a different path just to frustrate their need to be helpful without checking if it's relevant.

Clearly these issues are embedded in English. Consider the word "helpless": which means both "unable to provide help" and "unable to obtain help." In a better world where interdependency is valued over individualism, both kinds of helplessness will be rare.

Good bye & good riddance to 2009. The best part of the year was spending time with fangirls; the worst was spending time with myself.

Onward and upward! were_duck came over today so we cooked. Baked latkes—a combo of sweet potato, Yukon gold potato & zuchinni—very tasty. But oil is the point of latkes, and they would have been tastier fried in lots of it. Any excuse to top something with pineapple salsa is outstanding, and for sheer perversity the accompanying sauteed pork tenderloin in sesame oil couldn't be beat.

Dessert was gluten free double chocolate biscotti. They were super tasty, and I'll post the recipe after I try a few adjustments to make the texture correct. I was pleased that a recipe with no eggs and no oil could somehow hang together: it's the magic of almond meal!

(Too hungry to take pix.)

Great creative thinking at work over at cripchick's blog re: all the programmatic elements of accessiblity

I'm kvelling re coffeeandink's Ablism: Comment policy clarification. I think the ground is being made ready to address some of the deeper issues: interdependence, disability hierarchies, the tyranny of "normal."

MyGuy and I celebrated our 29th anniversary on Sunday night. I'm proud that we've made it so long together, and that we had the good sense to choose each other. There was some accessibility fail at the first restaurant, but I grit my teeth and got some good eats in the end.

Tapas at The Icon: tasty and not that expensive. Marinated Spanish White Anchovies, Marcona Almond Parsley Pesto, with Chocolate Espresso Crema Catalana. And room for popcorn at home later!