"Don't Bring Yogurt to a Frozen Turkey Fight"

[jesse_the_k]

"How come nothing awesome like this happens when I go grocery shopping?" said one commenter, and I can't help but agree.

Woodman's is a very small warehouse chain in southcentral 15-store supermarket chain in Wisconsin & northern Illinois. Union workers, terrible vegetables, great meat. This time, the meat was doing double duty:

begin quote 
Woman wields frozen turkey in grocery store melee, police say

Two groups of women were involved in what Madison police are calling a melee near the meat counter at a Woodman's Food Market.

Police said a dispute over money started in the store on Gammon Road on the afternoon of Nov. 12 and led to fisticuffs when one woman pulled out pepper spray. Two women facing off with four others were sprayed with the pepper spray, according to police.

Officers said one combatant armed herself with a frozen turkey that was swung and tossed. Two women began exchanging punches. A pallet holding eight large boxes of bacon was toppled.

A 62-year-old man who was on the phone with dispatchers told police he was struck in the head with a full container of yogurt.

The two women punching each other were fighting on the floor with the spilled yogurt and bacon, according to police.

Police stopped the women who were pepper sprayed as they were about to drive away. One was cited for disorderly conduct. The other combatants were not immediately located. quote ends

Tragically, no pictures.

ETA: Thanks to fact checker laceblade, more accurate store description.

Comments

[j00j]

This made my morning.

[laceblade]

Deep cackle, I wish I could have been there to live-tweet.

ALSO you might be excited to learn that Woodman's goes beyond southcentral WI?! There's one in GB, & after I convinced my mom of their prices, she now goes there all the time.

[zizi_west]

late on this one, but I'm kind of impressed by the level of commitment of the combatants. So the charge was no worse than "disorderly conduct"? It was her lucky day!

None of my own grocery trips have involved this level of drama, even though I made the error of making a last-minute evening shopping trip the day before Thanksgiving. Folks may have been so excited about drinking their discount wine purchases that they were already feeling mellow.

Um, yeah, where were the people with smartphones when this went down? I can just imagine the photos that would have been used in court, and the witness statements!