"Don't Bring Yogurt to a Frozen Turkey Fight"

[jesse_the_k]

"How come nothing awesome like this happens when I go grocery shopping?" said one commenter, and I can't help but agree.

Woodman's is a very small warehouse chain in southcentral 15-store supermarket chain in Wisconsin & northern Illinois. Union workers, terrible vegetables, great meat. This time, the meat was doing double duty:

begin quote 
Woman wields frozen turkey in grocery store melee, police say

Two groups of women were involved in what Madison police are calling a melee near the meat counter at a Woodman's Food Market.

Police said a dispute over money started in the store on Gammon Road on the afternoon of Nov. 12 and led to fisticuffs when one woman pulled out pepper spray. Two women facing off with four others were sprayed with the pepper spray, according to police.

Officers said one combatant armed herself with a frozen turkey that was swung and tossed. Two women began exchanging punches. A pallet holding eight large boxes of bacon was toppled.

A 62-year-old man who was on the phone with dispatchers told police he was struck in the head with a full container of yogurt.

The two women punching each other were fighting on the floor with the spilled yogurt and bacon, according to police.

Police stopped the women who were pepper sprayed as they were about to drive away. One was cited for disorderly conduct. The other combatants were not immediately located. quote ends

Tragically, no pictures.

ETA: Thanks to fact checker laceblade, more accurate store description.

Comments

[j00j]

This made my morning.

[jesse_the_k]

I live to serve. :,)

[laceblade]

Deep cackle, I wish I could have been there to live-tweet.

ALSO you might be excited to learn that Woodman's goes beyond southcentral WI?! There's one in GB, & after I convinced my mom of their prices, she now goes there all the time.

[jesse_the_k]

You so would have livetweeted that like a boss. In fact, you still can—for Yuletide!

Huh — holy baked beans, Robin! They're in northern Illinois, too. World domination through corned beef!

[laceblade]

I've actually never bought meat from Woodman's - I always assumed it'd be as bad as their produce. Maybe I should change that, O:

[jesse_the_k]

They started in MyGuy's edge of the woods: Founder Woodman was a butcher. MyGuy claims their meat is the best (though they don't stock super-fancy stuff like Jacobsen's).

[zizi_west]

late on this one, but I'm kind of impressed by the level of commitment of the combatants. So the charge was no worse than "disorderly conduct"? It was her lucky day!

None of my own grocery trips have involved this level of drama, even though I made the error of making a last-minute evening shopping trip the day before Thanksgiving. Folks may have been so excited about drinking their discount wine purchases that they were already feeling mellow.

Um, yeah, where were the people with smartphones when this went down? I can just imagine the photos that would have been used in court, and the witness statements!

[jesse_the_k]

Perfect icon!

Yeah, tho our local police PR flack prides himself on making witty reports, I was heartbroken that no Cajun turkey jokes were made.

(Oops, guess I fixed that.)

Another plus of avoiding ceremony: We happily chowed down on one of the fastest meals prep to discreet belch, pasta carbonara. How was your celebration?

[zizi_west]

Pasta carbonara is always good - any day, any hour! Sounds like a pleasant & stress-free time.

I enjoyed a nice family/extended family celebration, thanks. It was good to be able to welcome people who had lost parents/have no family locally anymore/are handling the challenge of FT work and caring for a parent with memory issues. For a few hours difficulties were put aside for food and conversation. Somehow there was a cranberry sauce shortfall (forgot to buy enough) but made up for this by providing a giant salad: 2 kinds of lettuce, toasted walnuts, diced apples + dried cranberries.

Now to plan for the new year...

[jesse_the_k]

Mmmm, that salad sounds like it would drive dull care away pronto.

I'm glad you were able to share the day with folks who can set aside worries (this is not an easy move).

I adore cranberries. The advent of those "craisin" bits has only improved my life. I made a cranberry-pear-orange relish (cooked) that was so good I ate most of it before morning. Mmmm.

[zizi_west]

cranberry-pear-orange relish

That sounds fabulous! (adds to next big dinner menu)

My Dad found a restaurant supply store that sells dried cranberries in 2-pound bags -- no store membership required. Since then I've been adding them to most baked goods, oatmeal, everything I can think of. Some regions of the Northwest have the right climate for bountiful cranberry cultivation so there's no immediate danger of a shortage :)

[jesse_the_k]

Northern Wisconsin is also a cranberry producing hot spot, and I spent many happy hours in my earlier days near the Mothership, Ocean Spray in Plymouth Massachusetts.

I'll post my relish to omnomnom before your next big meal :,)

[zizi_west]

Great, thank you! I will watch for the recipe.

I am a big enough nerd that I would try to happily tour the Ocean Spray farms/factories on a visit to Plymouth.

I didn't know WI produced cranberries -- I should seek out jams, preserves, local specialties, etc. on a future visit.