Disability Hatred, Internalized & Countered

[jesse_the_k]

Dave Hingsburger speaks to my experience as a wheelchair user who can also walk. He relates being called names by a neighbor who finds him walking the hall:

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I am a wall walker.

I didn't know that's what I was until my physiotherapist used the term when describing me on the phone to her supervisor. I can walk for very short distances but I have terrible balance and have fallen more often than I'd like to admit.

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People with disabilities are a minority group about which non-members have virtually no understanding. The idea that people in chairs only use chairs and that people who walk never need adaptations is rampant. It's fueled by the idea that we're all using the system in some way, taking tax dollars that we don't deserve, that we are fakers and cons. I tell you what, I don't care that she's going to be rude and going to view me differently now. I don't care that she's going to tell others I'm a faker. I don't care.

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from Rolling Around In My Head: Wall Walker
http://davehingsburger.blogspot.ca/2016/03/wall-walker.html

I've only encountered direct confrontation a few times. But even after 23 years using a powerchair, I still hear a vile inner voice, saying "you're just not trying hard enough, if you were in better shape you'd use your rolling walker everywhere."

I've redistributed my limited energy to other activities.

• thinking: reading, talking with MyGuy, watching video
• exercise in an ideal environment, swimming three times a week, where water pressure counteracts my orthostatic intolerance.
• walking inside the house, as well as standing. This weight-bearing activity in familiar surroundings minimizes falling and helps my circulation & bones, and enables ergonomic cooking.
• socializing: interacting with friends in little bits. The net is a social prosthesis, since I can participate at my own pace, asynchronously.

Recent news from the medical world supports how I balance my energy budget. The U.S. Institute of Medicine suggested that one of my impairments should be renamed "Systemic Exercise Intolerance Disease."
http://www.nap.edu/catalog/19012/beyond-myalgic-encephalomyelitischronic-fatigue-syndrome-redefining-an-illness