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Coloring inside the chalk lines
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007 11:34 amMy impairments are visible and invisible, which matters more to non-disabled people than to me. Besides, I'm totally out about the invisible ones, so it's not like I'm passing for a sane person.
They are also absolute and relative, and that's taken much longer to understand.
Absolute impairments have hard limits. No glasses, can't read print, period. Eat gluten, gut swells, headache, disgusting things happen.
Relative impairments are designated by chalk lines. Reach above my head today? OK fine. Reach above my head tomorrow? Get dizzy. Reach above my head last week? Passed out cold. Where do I draw the chalk line? What if I'm really hungry for that can of sardines? Do I wait?
Go with my partner to the dog park. Known distance I can travel with two walking sticks. Have been doing it for months. Today, it's around 8 degrees warmer. Almost pass out twice. Rest of afternoon is spent horizontal recovering.
Really thrilling book. Want to finish it -- only 100 pages left! But if I stay up past midnight, will I crash into depression tomorrow? Dragging my butt through the day, maybe it's my bloods. Ooooh, a cup of lapsang souchang! But will that trigger mania for a week? Would mania be a positive alternative to dragging my butt?
I draw the chalk lines. Their "true" location depends. If I draw them too cautiously, I'm missing out, or not contributing enough. If I get fed up with drawing them, I pay and pay and pay.
I finally had my left shoulder in a totally pain-free state six years ago. Wheee! Time to get a new stick of chalk! Let's experiment with something new! Take an "adapted" class from a clueless teacher. I try one motion, it hurts, I ask for help, she shrugs and the damn pain is back again. Four years later and I'm still feeling it.
Repeatedly chalking in the lines is as enervating as applying for Social Security Disability. Sure fine let me spend months filling out forms detailing all the things I can't do. Oh, now it's time to define a favorite activity as outside the circle. How close to the edge should I draw the line? Post-con and now I have to draw them again?
They are also absolute and relative, and that's taken much longer to understand.
Absolute impairments have hard limits. No glasses, can't read print, period. Eat gluten, gut swells, headache, disgusting things happen.
Relative impairments are designated by chalk lines. Reach above my head today? OK fine. Reach above my head tomorrow? Get dizzy. Reach above my head last week? Passed out cold. Where do I draw the chalk line? What if I'm really hungry for that can of sardines? Do I wait?
Go with my partner to the dog park. Known distance I can travel with two walking sticks. Have been doing it for months. Today, it's around 8 degrees warmer. Almost pass out twice. Rest of afternoon is spent horizontal recovering.
Really thrilling book. Want to finish it -- only 100 pages left! But if I stay up past midnight, will I crash into depression tomorrow? Dragging my butt through the day, maybe it's my bloods. Ooooh, a cup of lapsang souchang! But will that trigger mania for a week? Would mania be a positive alternative to dragging my butt?
I draw the chalk lines. Their "true" location depends. If I draw them too cautiously, I'm missing out, or not contributing enough. If I get fed up with drawing them, I pay and pay and pay.
I finally had my left shoulder in a totally pain-free state six years ago. Wheee! Time to get a new stick of chalk! Let's experiment with something new! Take an "adapted" class from a clueless teacher. I try one motion, it hurts, I ask for help, she shrugs and the damn pain is back again. Four years later and I'm still feeling it.
Repeatedly chalking in the lines is as enervating as applying for Social Security Disability. Sure fine let me spend months filling out forms detailing all the things I can't do. Oh, now it's time to define a favorite activity as outside the circle. How close to the edge should I draw the line? Post-con and now I have to draw them again?
