Words to Live By

[jesse_the_k]

Worrying is like praying for something bad to happen

I've just encountered this maxim, and it rings a whole carillon.

Because anxious me worries a lot. And I thought I was worrying so I could be sure to get it right. But really, that doesn't work.

It's hard to imagine that something as fundamental as anxiety can be soothed via rationality, but dang nab it, gonna try!

tragically I can't cite the originator of this powerful phrase: here's a more thorough person illustrating why that's difficult:

https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/worrying_is_like_praying_for_something

Comments

[sasha_feather]

I suppose the corollary is that practicing hope is like praying for something good to happen!

[jesse_the_k]

Indeed!

[firecat]

The statement sounds a bit blaming/shaming to me, but whatever helps reduce the anxiety is a good thing.

[jesse_the_k]

Ah, interesting take on it.

I read it as: "worrying won't help, so don't bother."

[firecat]

That's true!

I can't stop my worrying easily, but I can decide not to believe the thoughts and I can consider the feelings as basic physiological arousal.

[jesse_the_k]

So -- anxiety is like an itch or hiccups? That's a useful frame, thanks.

[vass]

If it helps to have something to focus on doing instead, Brené Brown's research suggested gratitude as a happiness-increasing alternative.

e.g. instead of "what if something bad happens to _____?", try "I'm so glad I have _____ in my life right now."

[jesse_the_k]

Amen! That has worked wonders for me.

[anna_bird]

Ah -- that's helpful. Thanks! (I'd also framed (to myself) that worrying was something positive, or necessary to my day-to-day. But really it isn't the same as planning things out; it's just me staying up till 3 am. :|)

[jesse_the_k]

Precisely.