I always learn something from Dave Hingsburger

[jesse_the_k]

Like today:

Kindness isn’t a virtue because of the good it does. Kindness is a virtue because of the good it takes. Pushing past the justifications waiting to excuse myself for my actions to taking action to simple be decent isn’t always easy. In fact, I’ve found that for me, it never is. [… snip …] I’ve learned that nice people aren’t just naturally nice, they are nice by decision. And kindness isn’t a character trait it’s a series of decisions, big wins over pettiness, that someone has to active[ly] make.

you can follow his daily posts

https://rollingaroundinmyhed-feed.dreamwidth.org

(And yes, I misspelled the [former] name of his blog, which is now “Of Battered Aspect.” Another thing Dave teaches is the writing doesn’t have to be perfect before one posts.)

Comments

[niqaeli]

...hm. I actually very clearly delineate between nice and kind, because I cannot be nice. I will never be reflexively sweet or delightful in demeanor or mien; my nature does not incline that way and frankly I've learned to deeply distrust it in others, so I'm not motivated to make the attempt. Niceness screams to me "paper over the problems so they can really fester but at least they're not doing so in *public*" and "savage someone in a way that they cannot defend themselves against without being made out to be the asshole" which... probably says a lot about my social history, but there we are nonetheless.

But kindness. Kindness I can choose. Kindness doesn't have to come with a smile. Kindness is considering other people and doing something positive for them. It often isn't easy, as he says, it is often a great deal of work and the result of a number of conscious (and unconscious) decisions. But it's well worthwhile, for me, because being as kind as I can means I get to be someone that I don't mind knowing or living with.

[kaberett]

Yes.

[kaberett]

(if you want the feed name updated I can do that!)

[jesse_the_k]

That would be great, K -- I think updating it to his name would make the most sense, since Dave changes the blog name regularly.

davehingsburger

(thanks!)

[kaberett]

there you go; your subscription will have updated automatically but if you had the feed account in any custom reading filters you'll need to update those.

[jesse_the_k]

Thank you so much!