Even more wisdom re: disabling metaphor

[jesse_the_k]

is available in this thread from Alas, a Blog, hosted by Wheelchair Dancer with major lifting from Leora.

Yes it's long, but for analogy-loving me, it's a gold-mine. Commenter Leora, in particular, explores the "disability is a natural part of life" issue by comparing "mental retardation" to math skills; using public transit vs driving; differential muscle strength between men and women; black and white; and most memorably, the "loss" of disability to the death of one's parent:

 begin quote  For example, my mother died [... snip ...] and I grieved that loss, not unlike the times I have grieved for the loss of my sight. But people’s parents die. It happens to all of us. And others might say, how sad that your mother died. But after the initial grieving period, people don’t think about it much in regards to you. They do not define you by what they perceive as what they think your loss feels like. Different people are going to react to losing a parent differently. Some might find relief if their parent was abusive, some might be devastated for years, some might be sad about it and then move on. Other people allow you to do that. They don’t define every conversation, every thought, every perception and judgment about you by how they think THEY would handle your loss. Would you like it if five or ten years after your mother died, every single person you talked to said, “Gosh! I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother. It must be so hard to get through the day. Oh? You’ve moved on and now you want to talk about the job opportunity? Well, I just don’t know if we can do that! If I had lost my mother, it would be such a loss. I don’t know how I would even work and enjoy life if my mother had died. I mean, having a mother alive is so much better than having a dead one. There is no way you can say that you’ve learned and grown from the experience and you are a better person for it. I think you are wrong about being okay with the loss of your mother.” And on and on and on infinity with every single person you ever talk to for the rest of your life. quote ends 

Foolish me didn't research in the blogosphere before the "Disabling Metaphor" panel, and it turns out there's tons o' post on this topic. And that's probably why so many of the folks at the panel were so primed to discuss it!

The Feminist Philosophers' take on the topic includes some close reading of the language that I'm too medicated to decode. Commenters to Tekanji's post at the Official Shrub Blog unlike the folks at Alas, are not too painful to read.

Comments

[trouble]

Tekanji's commentators weren't too bad, although some of the follow-ups were awful. The thread that spawned her comment at Feministe broke my heart. The latest dust-up at Feministe about ablism is part of why I'm trying to take a break from the blogosphere. The posters are, for the post part, good (although sometimes need to be poked, hard), but many of the commentators are... difficult.

[jesse_the_k]

And your contribution to the Alas thread was outstanding! One of the heartening things about the widening gyre of comments is that it spreads the responsibility of reply among more of us.

I know the blogosphere can be a non-metaphorical heat-sink sucking vortex for me when I'm manic.

Putting my tiptoes out in the "public blogosphere" has taught me how the culture is different in LJ/DW, where we mostly talk to each other as we'd do in a cafe. (Our squeeing is louder here than it would be in public; after all, we go to the expense of renting out entire hotels to contain our RL squeeage.)

[trouble]

I'd gotten so used to my LJ and DW and related friends-spaces, where I can decide if I want to say "a wheelchair is not a freaking TRAGEDY, for crying out loud", and not have to say it. Toeing back out into the progressive blogosphere at large is reminding me that these so-called communities aren't really the communities we have. I can't dismiss the experiences of Sami when she talks about how disability is for her in response to my comments, because I've been reading her talk about her disabilities for some time. I can't ignore the context of her comments. But people at Alas can ignore the context of mine, as can folks in other places, because I'm not really a person to them - I'm just some commentator who may or may not be "arguing in good faith". (The idea that someone could click on the link and read a large variety of posts about disability-related topics and maybe see that there is more to this than they realise is apparently too much for them.)

...
Yeah, so, break from internets? :)

[jesse_the_k]

I was hornswoggled by that "arguing in good faith" comment: it's the difference between our CR group and their debate club.

I post in hope mainly that PWDs click through to people like us, and find there is a CR group. I'm gonna give 'em one more try, but after I veg out to a sly Brit comedy called Sensitive Skin, about a 30-years-married couple.

[trouble]

I'm trying really hard to assume the best of people there, hence why I parroted that language back at them, but for CRYING OUT LOUD. This is not some sort of nice hypothetical situation we're discussing over drinks. THIS IS OUR LIVES.

Grrrrr.

Why I try to be nice to people, I don't know. I blame the economy.