rave: Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)

[jesse_the_k]

Just finished a fabulous book I recommend to, well, everyone.

Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)
Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson


It's a highly readable tour of psych research on cognitive dissonance and how we justify error. Using examples from marriages and genocides, therapy, medicine, criminal justice and the law, it convincingly demonstrates the ubiquity of our reluctance to acknowledge our errors. I came away recognizing the human tendency to shifting a focus from what I did to what I intended. This move comforts and soothes the pain of cognitive dissonance; instead of facing error, it permits us to burrow into self-justification. This insight underlines the efficacy of "criticize the act, not the actor," since the latter would most likely stir up defensiveness.

When the authors apply their analysis to the broader world, it's useful and horrifying. This is how leaders justify torture and prosecutors justify imprisoning innocents. On the smallest scale, it's useful and mortifying: this is how we create grooves in our relationships, from which no amount of love and care can seemingly shift us.

Tavris & Aronson establish their thesis on many scientific studies (with footnotes! yay! footnotes!) and it's changed how I look at "guilt" and "blame." Highly recommended!

Comments

[isis]

This looks like something I'd enjoy. Are you perchance on Goodreads?

[jesse_the_k]

I was overcome by too much choice between Goodreads and Librarything, so I gave up and use Worldcat's built-in list manager (it's the "What I've Read This Year" link on the sidebar). Tell me why I should change and I probably will :,)

[isis]

What I like about Goodreads is the social-networking aspect (like Dreamwidth!): I see what my friendslist is reading and what they think about what they've read. I often decide to find and read something based on what they have read and raved about, or conversely end up avoiding a book because I check out what people think on Goodreads and there are a lot of negative reviews. When a friend reads something I've read I often comment on their reviews, and vice versa.

[laceblade]

I agree, I like looking at what other people thought about books.

I'm on Gooreads too, :D

[laceblade]

Thanks for posting about the book!

After hearing you talk about it, I was going to send you a "What was the name of that book again?" e-mail. I am eager to read this, and possibly to litter a few copies around the office, :D