Smart DW Pondering re gender and disability

[jesse_the_k]

cosmolinguist explores the gender pitfalls of defining a space as welcoming to "women and non-binary" people. Relevant to my interests because my wonderful comics club membership policy is "cis men have staffed the gates into comics for too long, so they're not welcome in clubMX." We've tried to express that in positive terms — here are the folks who are welcome — but given our rejection from traditional comics circles, essentially (hah!), the quoted negative definition above is what unites us.

people are doing an unreasonable thing in order to achieve a reasonable goal. I'm sure any of us could think about times in our lives that cis men were horrible to us, all the way from #EverydaySexism to actual trauma. And especially when it comes to groups for people who are queer/kinky/polyamorous/anything about sexualities and relationships, safety becomes even more important. But keeping all the cis men out isn't the way to do that. I'm not even saying "not all men," I'm saying "not only cis men." Not all predatory, boundary-crossing, consent-lacking behavior comes from them. Keeping them out is not necessary or sufficient for a space to be safe or welcoming.

full post

---

hellofriendsiminthedark precisely captures why disabling metaphor is harmful

In a world where blindness is inherently understood as a debilitating and limiting condition, "you're blind to the red flags" does mean "you're ignorant of the red flags."

In a world where sight is inherently understood to be one of many modes for gathering information, but is also understood to be neutral in value and not in and of itself individually essential in the grand scheme of gathering information and perceiving a legitimate model of the physical world, "you're blind to the red flags" would mean "you may not be able to see the red flags, but you can still intuit their existence. You can still obtain information about their presence using your other senses and other information around you, for example the ways in which the red flags interact tangibly with things you can perceive. You can still understand what a red flag would signify without having to be able to identify that specific denotation of a red flag. You may sense the effects of the red flag using the senses that actually matter in your experience of the world and thus posit their presence just the same as a metaphorically sighted person would by perceiving them through sight."

full post

Comments

[sovay]

people are doing an unreasonable thing in order to achieve a reasonable goal.

Thanks for the link; that's very useful.

[jesse_the_k]

It's so tempting to make an "easy" gate: you must be this tall, have these chromosomes, understand this jargon before you can join our sandbox. But the hard job of teaching, learning, and listening can't be cut short.

[cosmolinguist]

Oh wow, it's spooky seeing a post of mine linked (thanks, by the way!) next to something that I basically never see people other than me talking about -- the harm of blindness-as-metaphor -- in such similar terms that it still felt like my own brain. But I love love love this idea of "here's what 'you're blind to...' should mean, if you're going to use it!" That's new to me and I'm so glad you brought it to my attention!

happy accident

[jesse_the_k]

Yes! Living with disability often means we develop not superpowers! but new strategies.

(I'd love to take credit for a combo theme, but the blindness-link didn't occur to me.)

[barakta]

The blind ones seem to be more pervasive even than the deaf ones (which I don't like either cos they tend to assume wilful not listening rather than CAN'T HEAR)

[jesse_the_k]

Both of these disabling metaphors are anchored deep in our daily language, and they do real harm to Blind and Deaf people.

[cynthia1960]

Your post is very astute!

[vass]

my wonderful comics club membership policy is "cis men have staffed the gates into comics for too long, so they're not welcome in clubMX."

...

Does your comics club know that trans men exist? If they have two categories, and those categories are "women and non-binary people" and "cis men", then trans men are either Cis Men Oppressors or Not Men At All. Which seems very much in line with how certain types of feminist regard trans men as having sold out of womanhood and joined the oppressors.

I agree with cosmolinguist's post entirely, but also, I regard myself as as much male as female, and events or clubs for "women and non-binary people", to me, send two messages: one, as cosmolinguist said, "you're just another kind of woman", and two, "you're welcome as long as you can chop half of yourself off and leave it at home." (Which, as cosmolinguist also alluded to, is very similar to the gay and lesbian community's treatment of bisexual people.)

Good point!

[jesse_the_k]

Here’s what our intro post says: we lead with the cis men can go elsewhere, then welcome others.

One reason ClubMX exists is that so many comics groups are dominated by cisgender men. To ensure a free-flowing discussion where all can contribute, we let the cis men find other groups to hang with. We welcome trans & cis women, trans men, and gender queer folks.

[cynthia1960]

What's a better way to describe "blind spot" for driving?

Mmmm, that's an interesting question.

[jesse_the_k]

Blocked spot?

Blank spot?

Terrible design?

Re: Mmmm, that's an interesting question.

[cynthia1960]

Certainly design has a role, but I'll try to start using blocked spot.

Another change is using insensitive rather than tone deaf.

Re: Mmmm, that's an interesting question.

[jesse_the_k]

It’s a challenge to rewire our mouths away from this frozen language. Good luck, and prepare to fail some.

I’ve had the best luck when my replacement has the same number of syllables.

“Tone deaf” -> “thoughtless”